I am going to jail August 5. I will be unfairly arrested on trumped up charges, of course, but the jury is still out.
The local Shriners, in particular Klaus Knorz, the king of rascals, are responsible for this unholy travesty.
I will be asking for your help to spring me, and to raise some money for hospital equipment and transportation assistance for physically challenged kids.
I'll know better next week when the gloomy rapscallions tell me what the charges are.
I will take you for a boat ride and put your picture in a glossy photo book.